As someone who has been on opposite ends of the fit/fat spectrum, I feel like I’ve been able to healthily gauge why I work out.  To feel (and look) better and be healthier overall.

I am someone who ran every single day to the point of obsession, trying to beat my mile time, 5K time, etc. and not for a race or really anything, just because I felt like I needed to. Yeah, probably not healthy.  I lost a crazy amount of weight, losing 15-20 lbs in like 3 months or so and had to buy new bras and clothes (kids size).  For someone who is 5’4, 15-20 lbs is a lot.  That being said, why I lost that much weight wasn’t purely for health reasons.  I mean, yes I ate fewer calories and worked all of those calories off for the most part but I was really trying (only) to lose as much weight as I possibly could at the time.  And then, the endorphins that came with running became an addiction.  I recall this one instance where I didn’t have time until nighttime and I was so upset that it wasn’t ‘safe’ enough to run outside at night and the 24 hour fitness gym that I was considering signing up for wasn’t in a good neighborhood either (not to mention almost closing… such false advertising).  Yup.  Upset.  To the point of tears.

Cue a few months later and I find myself at a job that doesn’t really allow me to run.  Which is a whole different story.  I stopped the routine of ‘working out’ everyday for 2 hours.  Cue a few pounds gained, a few months later and a new job (which allowed me time to workout/exercise) … I started doing bikram yoga … like every other day.  Probably could have gone everyday if I had more bikram yoga clothes (you really can’t wear bikram yoga clothes back to back … Cain can’t drive with the windows closed when he picks me up – even if it’s cold outside).  Side note: coconut water after bikram tastes so much better (not during or before, only after).  It’s like your body is craving the hydration and the replenishment of electrolytes and whatever else that makes coconut water so magical.  Mango?  The best.

After the introductory special of unlimited bikram yoga and the realization that it’s quite expensive, I then really … just became a sloth.  Ate and drank crap, and ultimately ended up feeling the same way.  It just became so easy to pick up food and just not worry about cooking or cleaning.  Hence, my dark period where I didn’t really do any serious or consistent working out.  It was actually horrible.  My metabolism had slowed down.  I could feel it.

The whole point of this stream of consciousness is to say that I finally feel like I’ve reached a balance between working out and being lazy, eating healthy food and gorging on delicious food, etc.  I’ve been super strict about working out and have never been able to find a happy medium until now.  Cheers.

The Boy

I really think there are three main points as to why I work out:

1.  To increase overall strength / stamina.

I want to be able to make my pecs dance joyously while simultaneously grinding coffee beans with my bare hands.  Or not.

Truth be told, I think the “stamina” portion of this point is really what is more important for me.  I see it more as a personal measure of fitness.  How do I feel walking up those stairs now, compared to how it felt a month or two ago?  Asking myself a simple question like that actually says a lot.

Prior to starting up with this new gym regimen (thanks, Flex Gym), I wasn’t exactly obese, useless or completely out of shape.  But I definitely wasn’t helping myself out.  It’s funny how, over time, you completely ignore the effects of an unhealthy lifestyle.  I’d gasp for breathe after simple walks up short flights of stairs.  I’d struggle (ever-so-slightly … but still, struggle) to get up off the couch.  My belly reminded me of that scene from The Simpsons … you know which one:

Simply put, I didn’t feel all that great.  Cue Rocky music.

Once I started working out, I remembered how much I enjoyed testing myself.  Small tests, but tests nevertheless.  Tests that highlight whatever progress I’m making.  And that feels good.  It’s nice to be able to up the weight on a machine, to run a little further without stopping, and to be able to walk out of the gym thinking, “Wow, that felt great” instead of “Holy shit, bring me a trash can because I’m about to puke.”

2.  To make healthier lifestyle choices.

I understand that exercise alone isn’t going to solve all my problems.  But exercise is pretty important, because it involves the key element of ACTUALLY GETTING UP OFF MY LAZY ASS.

Once I start exercising, I start being a bit smarter with what I eat and drink.  Ehhhh, maybe we shouldn’t have that fast food hamburger.  Let’s cook something healthy (and still tasty) at home.  Save calories with the added benefit of saving some money.

I just have this feeling that I don’t want to destroy the progress I’ve been making.  And I like that.  I like knowing that I have fitness goals, that I’m being proactive with my health, and that it requires making some better choices.

Of course, I don’t want to give EVERYTHING up.  Which leads to…

3.  To feel better about myself when I eat pizza and drink beer.

Having said all that stuff in Point Two … well, I’m still me.  I’m never going to give up beer.  I love it!  But before, I’d sit there, have a beer or two, then wonder aloud as to when I’d ever make it to the gym again to work off these extra 8,675,309 calories.

Now?

Now I sit there, have a beer, and remind myself that I’m still going to hit the gym tonight.  And then, I do it.  And I feel good about the fact that I’m maintaining a healthy balance between “boring-nobody-who-works-out-all-day-and-has-no-fun” and “disgusting-creature-who-drinks-every-day-and-then-passes-out-from-exhaustion”.

I understand that I’m not trying to look like Arnold, run a marathon in under 2.5 hours or break any world records.  I’m just being me.  A healthier me.

Though I’d still like to make my pecs dance someday.

Depends … on the time of the month, what movie I’m watching, or if anything big happened in my life.

It really can be anything as corny as the How I Met Your Mother episode yesterday when Lily’s dad gets her the teddy bear or more serious like when a friend moves away.

The Boy

Nothing.  Men don’t cry.

Just kidding.  I cried after this:

Andres Cantor is my hero.

:: wipes tear ::

The Girl

YouTube has completely changed my life.  For better and for worse.  I do learn and enjoy it a lot, but it is an addictive time-suck.

I watch YouTube and follow certain beauty/fashion gurus for makeup and hair tips.  The beauty community is HUGE on YouTube and something I discovered a few years ago (2009) and have since, been addicted.

It is really useful for things other than the viral YouTube classic videos.

The Boy

First and foremost, YouTube is a photo album.  It’s a place to relive old memories and jump right on the nostalgia train.  Sure, you can use it every now and then to learn how to fix a sink, teach yourself to train a dog or listen to a popular song.

But most of that stuff is boring.

YouTube exists so that people like me can experience, once again, the beauty and wonder of Frank Dux’s epic victories in the kumite.  It exists so that I can actually enjoy some classic episodes of Big Bad Beetleborgs.  YouTube is there for me whenever I need another fix of WMAC Masters, one of the greatest pieces of Saturday morning television that has ever existed:

Don’t fuck with “The Machine”.

Of course, there’s also the evil, disgusting, how-the-hell-did-I-find-myself-here part of YouTube.  We’ve all been there.  It’s that point where you find yourself watching a Full House clip, which then leads to you watching some Bob Sagat standup, which is then followed by some Bob Sagat lookalike doing gymnastics, until you’ve finally found yourself lost and confused, watching a clip of an Indian midget dancing his little brown ass off.  Oh, no?

So go ahead.  Get lost in YouTube.  Go watch clips of all your favorite shows from when you were a wee lad.  Trust me, they’re on YouTube.  From Small Wonder to Wonder Years, from Sesame Street to 21 Jump Street, it’s aaaaaaaaallll there.

With that, I leave you with some Muppet Babies.  YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, MUPPET-EFFING-BABIES.

Lesbian Couple’s First Kiss at Homecoming a First for Navy, Too

A uniformed liaison who is with her explains how it’s going to work: Snell’s sailor will be among the first off the ship, and when it’s time, Snell will be escorted onto the pier for the kiss.

The liaison asks if she’s nervous.

“Sort of,” Snell admits.

As it starts to drizzle, the brow is finally lowered. A handful of top officers are first off the ship, and then comes a young woman in dress blues, Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta.

Snell cracks a wide smile.

“That’s her,” she says.

When Gaeta spots her, she smiles, too. They embrace. With all eyes watching, they keep the kiss short, and the crowd cheers.

Here’s what we thought:

The Girl

“Oh, what is this?  Did someone remake the famous kissing scene?  Is it different because it’s the Navy?  Why are they kissing?  Ohhhhh, good for them!  They look cute, too.  ”

The Boy

“I’d do the one on the left.”

The Girl

Sundays are for brunch and window shopping!

The Boy

Sundays exist for football and beer.

Customer Service.  Sometimes I love it and sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out.

Let me start off by saying, I never start out being unpleasant with the customer service rep.  Unless it’s Comcast (who, to this day, harangues me about coming back to use their service… NO!).  And there are actually a few customer service reps from a few companies that I really do enjoy speaking with – Nordstrom (you absolutely cannot beat their service), Bank of America, Verizon Wireless (who will try their best to figure out a solution for you even if they really can’t do much), Target, and Amazon.  As someone who has worked in customer service before, I know that there is some wiggle room in what a customer service rep or actually anyone in customer service can do for you if you ask the right questions enough number of times.  I mean, if it’s possible, why not try?

A few smaller companies can’t really afford to train their customer service representatives to be as polite and helpful as larger companies can.  Case in point – I called a local t-shirt company to see whether or not I could pick up the custom shirts I ordered since they were located really close to where I work.  Not an option, they said.  Couldn’t tell me why.  Are they made in another country?  Are you using child labor?  Why?  So without a reason as to why I couldn’t pick up the shirts, I asked well, I just want to be able to have them by a certain date (this is still roughly 2.5 weeks after the order was placed).  No, they said, we cannot guarantee you can get it by any certain date.  Hrmm … okay, so I ask to talk to their manager, and they say “we can do the best” to which eventually I ceded and hung up.  There were other complications – such as – they spelled a word incorrectly on the shirt design and so we had to correct them.  Even with this ‘mistake’ we still managed to get the shirts on time (actually a few days beforehand).  This leads me to think that their lack of knowledge of their own business practices – how long it takes to make shirts led to this entire fiasco in the first place.  If they were organized enough to know by when the shirts would be made, they could have given me a better time window frame and I would have actually enjoyed talking to them.  Either this, or they made note that I really really wanted the shirts by a certain day and they gave me a RUSH without charging me (usually $50) or letting me know.  In the end, everything worked out but I was not happy with the customer services’ lack of knowledge on their business practices.

But then again, even a big company like Comcast has really bad customer service that lacks consistency of policies, record-keeping abilities, etc.  It’s not all bad I guess, I called Comcast customer service twice and got two different quotes.  I used the lower quote I received when “discussing” with the new Comcast rep and got their “manager” to approve the lower quote.  How would they know if I made that up?  I know they do not keep track of past phone calls since I’ve talked to them about 10 times regarding this DTA that the Comcast installation person switched out for me (filled out the paperwork and took the defective one with him in the truck).  About 6-8 months later, they asked me: Can you fax us that paper that says it was switched out?  Hrmm, I really have to do the record keeping for you, Comcast?  Really?  What if I didn’t have a copy of it – are you going to charge me for the DTA?  Ridiculous.  If I were to explicate on all of the problems I’ve had with customer service, the hours I’ve spent on the phone as they are assuring me that service is turned on and that I just need to flip this switch for this to work … then me calling an hour later to tell them, NO, I don’t think service is on, then waiting another hour then setting up an appointment, then setting one up for Monday morning, then getting an automated phone call that says my appointment is on Sunday, then me calling them back and them confirming that it’s on Monday, then waiting another hour on Monday because the Comcast guy is late.  This all sounds like small things that I should let go – but when it seems like Comcast can’t do a SINGLE thing correctly for me, I just want to scream.  I will never choose Comcast again if I have to deal with the customer service.  EVER.  Do you hear me Comcast?  So, stop calling and harassing me at random hours to “come back” to your service because you have “special deals” for me.  STOP IT.

The biggest thing I hate about customer service reps is that they try to ‘guarantee’ you something to get you off the phone and I know it’s an empty promise. I cannot stand that. Especially when UPS promises or tries to assure you something… without knowing anything. WHY?

Anyway, because I don’t want to end this on a negative note, let me share some examples of outstanding customer service.  Again, some of these are bigger companies and can afford to be more generous.

1) Target: This product that I ordered online – the UPS code for my item said that it was going to be shipped to Pennsylvania or something and I hadn’t gotten the item by the due date.  So, Target apologized and said, OK, we’ll send you a new item (~$70) for free and expedite shipping. AWESOME.

2) Stylemint – An example of a smaller company with amazing customer service (online chat available too): I ordered a shirt in between moving from apt to apt and I thought it had gotten lost somewhere between address forwarding.  So, what did they do?  Gave me a credit for another shirt.  Thanks Michelle (company is run by the Olsen twins).

3) Nordstrom – I bought shoes that I thought were comfortable for a trip and guess what, they left permanent scarring from the blisters. The shoes were well worn and scuffed, etc. No questions asked, they apologized that I had a bad experience and refunded me the entire amount.  Amazing?  I think so.

Basically, a note to all companies: if you want customer loyalty and more business and positive word-of-mouth and feedback, give your customer the benefit of the doubt. I pledge loyalty to the companies who treat me well and forever banish the bad ones.

The Boy

Joyce and I made a deal when starting this blog.  We agreed: you MUST write your own entry before reading the other person’s piece.  I haven’t read her post.  But in regards to this topic, I’m almost certain that I know what she’s writing.  So…

…SHAPOW! PRE-EMPTIVE REBUTTAL STRIKE!

Joyce hates customer service employees.  All of them.  But she reserves a special kind of hate for Comcast customer service employees.  It’s more than hate.  It’s an “if-I-ever-see-you-burning-in-a-fire-I-will-save-you-between-the-hours-of-two-and-four-and-then-cancel-your-life-saving-appointment-at-three-fifty-five” type of hate.

Now here’s the thing.  I don’t have a problem with customer service, in general.  I do have a problem with customer service when they screw me over.  But when I pick up the phone and call their handy-dandy 800 number, I’m willing to give the customer service agent the benefit of the doubt and assume they know what they’re doing.  And that’s something that my awesome girlfriend refuses to do.

Which is fine.  She’s told me some pretty crazy customer service-related horror stories, so I can’t exactly blame her for feeling the way she feels.

I would write more, but my girlfriend just told me that her entry was 5,000 characters long, not counting spaces.  So rather than spending my time writing a thoughtful piece on customer service, I’ll instead PhotoShop some stuff together of what I think the best customer service agent in the world would probably look like:

In short, customer service is okay in my book.  Except those assholes that always ask me if my modem is plugged in when I don’t have internet (yes, that’s you again, Comcast).  I’m not a moron.

I know if something is plugged in or not.  Just fix my shit.

When you’ve been dating for a while – you get really comfortable in bed … not in THAT way (get your mind out of the gutter!) … but in the “I’m spreading myself out and taking over the whole bed” kind of comfortable.  This poses a need for some rules on sleep etiquette.

I remember the times when sleeping in the same bed with a new person was uncomfortable … you’d worry about having to pee and possibly waking up the other person.  I was worried that my teeth grinding would keep him awake.  Also, I get really hot when I sleep and sometimes, for no reason at all, I can’t sleep until 3am.  As time passed, Cain got used to all of these things and I’m happy to say that none of these things remain as an issue.

1.  Never do the “grab and roll” technique to stay warm.  What you are essentially doing here is – even though you have your share of the blankets on your side – you grab the blankets and roll to the edge of the bed.  This leaves the other person with either an exposed side and/or completely blanket-less.  Not cool.  Or, well, TOO cool for the person being denied cover.

2) Try to stay on your side of the bed for the most part. Breaching the imaginary line down the middle is acceptable most times when one person is spooning the other … but when you are basically sleeping on the other person’s side of the bed, she feels like she is going to fall.

3) The person closest to the light source, TV remote, etc. should take care to turn the light off, put on sleep timer, etc.

4) Be aware of morning breath!

5) Always use headphones or keep the TV on low volume if the boy is sleeping.

6) Breakfast in bed must always be accompanied by a flower – preferably daisies or peonies :)

Last rule (and most important): BOY SPOONS GIRL :) He is physically built for it :)

The Boy

1.  Don’t Mess with the MONSTER

If I’m sleeping, let me keep sleeping.  Don’t wake me up unless it’s time to get up for work, the house is on fire or Bloodsport is on.  Joyce is actually pretty good at understanding this … probably because she learned the hard way.  “Don’t mess with the Monster” is the way we best describe it.

That being said, this rule is pretty much meaningless if / when a woman wants to talk.  Like REALLY wants to talk.  “Baby, I’m sleeping,” actually means, “Baby, seeing as how I have the capacity to tell you that I’m sleeping, this in fact means that I’m not actually sleeping and can therefore sit up and talk for another hour.”  We can talk all you want, but just know that the next morning, the only thing I’ll remember from that whole experience is that I said whatever I needed to say to get back to sleep as soon as possible.

Also, let it be noted that no man can be held responsible for the things he says if he is woken up from his beautiful, beautiful sleep.  Ladies, do so at your own risk.

 2.  Cuddling

Yeah, I like to cuddle.  Hell, I like to be cuddled.  Anyone who thinks that’s weird has either never cuddled someone, never been cuddled or has been cuddled by the wrong person / people / inmates.

The tough part is figuring out proper form, something I’ve yet to do.  At least 25% of the time, I wake up in the middle of the night with one regular arm and one dead, useless, impossibly-trapped-under-my-girlfriend’s-head arm.  Oh well.

3.  Covers

Don’t steal the covers, and don’t accuse the other person of stealing them when you’re a crazy-ass sleeper, yourself.

4.  Hygiene

Take a shower.  Brush your teeth.  We have no problems with this simple rule.

5.  Drinking Booze in Bed

I’ll allow it.

Proposed S. Korean Towers Resemble Exploding World Trade Center

The unveiling of pictures of planned luxury residential towers scheduled to be built in Seoul, South Korea, has sparked instant controversy. The reason is obvious. The towers, which include a so-called “cloud” feature connecting them around the 27^th floors, clearly resemble the World Trade Towers in the process of collapsing following the 9/11 attacks.

Here’s what we thought:

The Girl

“Oh my God, KOREANS ARE SO STUPID!”

The Boy

“Oh my God, THE DUTCH ARE SO STUPID!”